The unbiased third party. In terms of this entry, the unbiased third party is a person or a group of people who have no vested interested in your decisions and/or actions. A person with a direct approach to life. A person of honesty. A person with no incentive to bite their tongue.
Over the past three weeks I have reflected on personal challenges that I have recently been faced with – challenges that the majority would most likely refer to as “typical” life dilemmas: relationships, work, and all things caught in the cross-fire. In circumstances of such weighted importance, who is the first person you approach? Family members, a friend, or a bartender? Really…Who?
As I initially wrote this question, I meant it as a terrible attempt at humor (with my bartender option), but after the fact I stopped and thought, “well why not the bartender? Or someone else?” The person in question doesn’t exactly have to have the job description of selling you spirits, however it very well could be an independent party who has never had a prior moment of insight when it comes to the details of your life.
In my case, I took it upon myself to seek the advice of someone other than my closest friends and family during my last dilemma. It worked.
Although I wanted someone who wasn’t close to me, I didn’t simply seek out the first stranger in sight. I made sure whoever I sought advice from fulfilled my 5 criteria:
A neutral individual that:
- I have met before, but haven’t spent a significant amount of time getting to know
- Exudes maturity
- Seems like a problem solver
- Seems to be a listener
- I respect
Notice that most of the items on my desired checklist are based on perception, which could be a difficult thing associate with anyone’s TRUE personality. Perceive/proceed with caution!
Without sharing too much detail in regards to my situation and outcome, I will suggest that you consider exploring new ways of seeking advice. Challenges are normal. Problems are inevitable. Life throws hurdles at us when we do and don’t expect them. There is never a shortage of opportunity for us to find new methods to solve our issues with or without the help of others. People are happier to help than we think.
Explore. Try something different. Capture your alpha.
-JO
jonathanjoliverdotcom 